Sweat and tears...
A poem is born?
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Lovingly...

Here they are… As you can see, I have omitted the "Silky wisps…" bit. It is very difficult to get it into the general mood of the situation... I will include my best shot so far, anyway. The lines in question are in blue.

 

Version 1 (13-08-2007)

Lovingly
Singing in my ear, tinkling
My world still
In deep slumber

Dark deep recesses
Scintillating nuggets priceless
Songs since silent
Echo [devoid/defying] [purpose/meaning]

The overnight mist
Swirls hiding [naked] truths
A path beckons me, lit by A hazy glow of amber [A hazy amber glow]
Alternatives:
Dark deep recesses
Dormant dreams serene
Songs since silent
Echo [devoid/defying] [purpose/meaning]
On the "silky…" theme:
Silky wisps of a presence
Fondles [my] deepest recesses
Serene blissful murmurs
Solitude serene
Possibilities in the "Sparrow" front:
Option 1:
Ripples in the leaves
A sparrow lands
Shadows long restful
Dance crying foul.
Option 2:
Ripples in the leaves
A sparrow lands
Shadows lost in dreams
Dance crying foul.
Option 3:
Ripples in the leaves
A sparrow lands
Shadows lost in dreams
Dance out of rhythm.

 

Version 7 (21-04-2008)

Lovingly
Singing in my ear, tinkling
My world still
In deep slumber.

Ripples in the leaves
A sparrow lands.
Songs long silent
Echo.

Mist
Swirls hiding truths.
A path beckons, lit by
A hazy amber glow.

Wisps of a presence
Waft over me.
Soft sighs of compassion, scatter
Seeds of soothing solitude.